R: what are your “views”
exactly
me: LOL WHO KNOWS ANYMORE
R: lol
thats the problem
me: dont have any
R: im sure you do
there must be some things that you enjoy and some things that bother you
im not talking about careers or anything
just things
you might not realize it
but it’s there
I made the “mistake” of telling someone I wasn’t currently attending any sort of school yesterday. I’ll call him R. Huge fail. It reminded me of one of the “Myths of Communication” I read in a textbook earlier this semester. It was something along the lines of “Communication can be reversed.” As in, it’s possible to take back the things you communicate which was seen in it’s literal form during this conversation…I was trying to copy and paste two sentences from a previous conversation I had had with someone else and didn’t realize I had highlighted the entire conversation —> copied it —> pasted it —> and pressed enter. Google Talk…fucking troll.
Nonetheless, I had a minor silent breakdown and felt the obligation to continue talking to him so as to not ruin our friendship and risk him telling other people about my whereabouts. In the end, it was a lot more enlightening than I had imagined it would be.
He talked about how he was having the same problem with finding his passion. The difference is, he will have completed his Bachelor’s Degree by next Fall. I wonder, if you know what you want to do, is it worth giving up years of work in something else to pursue it? Or, as my parents would say, just label it as a hobby? I think people are afraid to pursue the things they like because they don’t want to admit they’ve wasted time trying to do something else. Some even eventually convince themselves that what they are currently doing is what they are passionate about and give up on the possibility of anything else.
In my case, I’ve wasted a lot of time. And I’m still wasting time. Finding what I like to do, want to do, who I am…all that crap. But I think I’m okay with doing this over going to college and getting a degree. Or, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
